Mom's Funeral Speech

Given at my mom's funeral. I've stripped out some identifying information to protect my privacy. I wrote this over the course of about a week.

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I remember speaking at this very podium 35 years ago. Back then, they put podium at the lowest height and the microphone was down as far as it could go. I never imagined I'd be speaking here again. Hopefully my oratory skills have improved since then.

I spent hours agonizing over how to best honor mom. I ultimately decided to just share a few memories, quotes and concepts I cherish.

Anyone who knows mom knows she had a special place in her heart for animals. I have a picture of her as a teenager at a wedding. In her hands is a small black fuzzy thing. Upon closer inspection, you can clearly see it's a kitten. Yes, she brought a kitten to a wedding. This should come as a surprise to no one.

Mom once showed up at my apartment with a wounded pigeon she'd found floundering in the road. I told her my lease didn't allow pets. Undeterred, she marched over to the manager's apartment and informed him she was leaving it with me. The manager was a big guy, but he knew he'd met his match. He relented and gave his consent. Before I knew it, she brought over 2 homeless cockatoos as well! That's when the manager put the kibosh on the ever-expanding avian zoo!

When I was 7 or 8, mom got new linoleum in the kitchen. I got home from school and decided I was going to clean the new linoleum. I guess it looked in need of a cleaning! When she walked in the door from a hard day's work at the shop, she found that I had used comet cleaner on her shiny new linoleum. Needless to say, it was no longer shiny! At the time she was not happy, but eventually she learned to laugh about it. She had a way of finding the silver lining in just about any situation. That was one of her most endearing qualities. That, and her gift for gab.

After me and my partner moved away, mom and I would still talk on the phone for hours multiple times per week. We never ran out of things to talk about. 

One time dad and my partner were captive observers to one of these chat fests. We were driving through Lake Tahoe, and mom and I started talking. We were so engrossed in our conversation that we failed to notice the bored and stunned looks on their faces. Apparently we talked nonstop for 3 hours completely oblivious to their boredom. I earned a nickname that day: chatty cathy.

I found a poem that touched me in dealing with my grief at losing my favorite conversation partner. 

Hericlitis, by Callimachus, translated by William Johnson Corey:

They told me Hericlitis 

They told me you were dead

They brought me bitter news to hear

And bitter tears to shed

I wept as I remembered

How often you and I 

Had tired the sun with talking 

And sent him down the sky.

I'd like to read a memorable quote from the epistle to the Philippians. This is chapter 4, verse 8:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

I'd like to close with a cultural observation.

In Judaism, when they learn someone has died, they say "yehi zichra baruch", which translates to, "may her memory be for a blessing".

Mom. I will miss our conversations. I will miss your contagious, uproarious laughter. I will miss your legendary kindness. For me, your memory will always be a blessing. 

Thank you for rescuing a homeless kid and giving me a good life.